Overcoming an Obstacle

Where do I even begin. This blog is not gonna be like the others because this weekend was one of the hardest of my life. I spent much of it in tears. This weekend made me question my character, my heart, my intentions... it made me question ME. That is not something I do often. So let me just open with that.

Most of you that are close to my boyfriend and I know already that his parents dont approve of me and for those of you that didnt know that, its something I have struggled with greatly since the beginning of our relationship. I have known it from the moment I met them. Its just a feeling you get, ya know, like someone is just looking at you and judging you. Jon is adopted and they adopted him into their 30's. They are a bit older and very straight edge, very traditional and very conservative. I am not saying there is anything wrong with the previous stated, just to make that clear. They are an upper-class family as well. Jon has pretty much had a wonderful life with them. He has accomplished A LOT in his 25 years. Graduated from a top of the line college, and is now a career as a Golf Pro with a bunch of things in between not mentioned. He is a wonderful guy with a good head on his shoulders and a very determined guy at that. I have a feeling that these accomplishments have a lot to do with his parents being so good to him and helping him every step of the way. Now lets get to me..

I am a 22 year old girl that never graduated from college. I have tattoos and piercings and for the most part I tend to have and edgier, opposed to contemporary, hair cut and color than most. I have known for a long time that I wanted to do hair. Before a few months ago, I never took any steps in the right direction because I have had so many people in my life telling me that "its an easy way out" its for "indecisive people right out of high school". Along with that, it never seemed to be good timing when I thought about actually applying. It all became very discouraging and I started to believe that maybe I could never be successful doing hair. God brought someone into my life, Jon, that has helped encourage me to go after my dreams and my goals. He challenges me. He pushes me and makes me want to succeed and go after the things I desire in life. Hair. I love HAIR and It is naive for anyone to say that doing hair is a cop out. From what I do know about the hair industry... its flooded and a lot of people don't succeed in it. You have to work hard to form a clientele and make money and that can potentially take years. Now, there can be good money in doing hair, there is not denying that. BUT you have to have a set clientele and you need to be good at what you do for people to want to come back to you. It not only takes being talented but it also takes having the personality to be able to sit and talk to clients of all sorts for sometimes 2-3 hours while doing their hair. Let me just say, YEAH.. I could finish college and get a degree just like anyone else. I wouldn't be happy though, because I wouldn't wake up every morning doing something I love. I don't care if doing hair ever makes me successful in the terms of money, that isn't what life is about. When I visited Jon's family in New York over Christmas, this is mainly all his mom could talk to me about. COLLEGE and when I was going to finish it and what I wanted to do with my life. When I told her I wanted to do hair I could tell how disappointed she was. The last thing she said to me before I left New York, while hugging me goodbye in the airport, was "Finish College". I cant express how much this hurt me. Now let me try to tie everything together for you...

Friday night Jon's mother posted some pretty hurtful things on my Facebook wall for everyone to see. I wont repeat exactly what was said bc I don't really care to remember. Basically, she felt I was using her son, taking advantage of him, and she was to say the least disappointed he was with me. This was one of the hardest moments in my life and it almost broke the best thing that has ever happened to me, that thing being JON. My mom can be out there sometimes, but I know my mom would never ever go out of her way to publicly or even privately humiliate or say anything hurtful to anyone I loved or cared about and God knows we don't always see eye to eye (love you mama, incase your reading this). SO the whole situation was so hard to grasp and understand. I just couldn't believe it. I had never in my life felt so humiliated and worthless.

Bad went to worse quickly. Jon and I broke up over the situation. One of Two arguments we have ever had throughout our whole relationship. I knew I loved him and he was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but how could I ever ask him sacrifice having a good relationship with his family because of me. How could I ever feel good about knowing that because his mother didn't care for me, she wanted nothing to do with him. So I figured letting him go would be the best decision I could make so he could keep good ties with his parents. I was a mental case to say the least. News of the situation spread to our friends of course and the more and more people that gave us advice, said we were doing the wrong thing. If everyones parents could decide for them who was best for them, where would we all be? I was struggling with the guilt of his parents cutting him off. Struggling accepting that they might never want to be apart of our life together. I started to question if I was even good enough for him.

Long story gone very short, He decided that it was not up to his mother to decide who he loved or decide the direction of his life. He loves me for me and he sees a future with me. SO WHAT if we spend money on each other. SO WHAT if I have tattoos and piercings and i'm not a college graduate. SO WHAT if I have a loud mouth and I always say what is on my mind. None of those things make me any less of a person or any less fit  for Jon. THAT is what I learned this weekend.

I love him. Nobody could ever love him more than I do. If we are homeless and begging for money on a street corner, I would love him just the same. Strip all the material things away because those things don't matter. Not the college degrees, the money, the cars.. NONE OF IT. Instead of seeing me for all the things I am not, what is so difficult about seeing me for who I am and accepting me for the simple fact that I one-hundred percent love and care about Jon?

 I am passionate, I am loving, I am honest, I am caring, I am loyal, I am ambitious, I am fun, I am smart, I am bold, I am a good listener, I am many great things and I have a lot to offer... it may not be in areas that certain people expect, but it is A LOT just the same. I learned throughout this whole ordeal how much I love that boy, I couldn't imagine a future without him and I am going to only work that much harder to have a wonderful life with him. Amongst the negativity this weekend, I learned alot about myself, about the boy I love, about the life I want to have with him and the people I want us to be together. Needless to say, I am very thankful for this sweet boy who is fighting for me through this. I am thankful for my friends and family for giving me their support, thoughts and prayers through this whole mess- For taking the time to really see who I am and love me for it.

-k